Face your fears! (Late Post or Repost)

After some really interesting news delivered to me yesterday,I soon realised that I gave my all for the wrong reasons and persons.  I left it on the court because I wanted the next level, well so I thought.

I thought because I had the least I HAD to offer and prove the most. I mean after all I brought the least amount of value to the table. (Sad self deprecating thought) Oh trust me this isn't emotions, it's fact and if I refused to acknowledge it, it would continue to be the death of me. I was asking for help, guidance, mentorship, anything that got me to the next level. Until I was recognized, I gave my all, but every day I was cheering someone else's victory on. 

After a while, I told myself, worry not You're Next! When they get their blessing, it means you're closer to yours. For years I told myself that, all the while in the background the "promoters" were saying "oh he ain't ready, aaannnnnd we're not going to help him get ready!" Thanks but no thanks! Thanks for all your hard work to advance my pocket and place in history, but nah I cant and won't help you get to yours.

I blame only myself.  I reached out for direction and guidance to the point where I felt like my arms are head wete going to separate from my body.  If felt like searching for help and guidance became a full-time job. At one point I thought it was supposed to be, and I was wrong.  If people wanted to help me, they would have with a willingness. Sad reality was, they only helped me with a nugget then passed me off to the search again. Whether they weren't capable of being a great coach, had zero desire to help someone advance, or were only interested in self preservation it left me saying ok in order to survive, I too must become like this.

I gave up on searching for better and became complacent, and said oh well. Then the world started to crumble and I needed to focus on the next for me. My fear like a hangnail was hey you're going to get cut, but just hang in there until the decision is made for you. It's sad to have trusted and only be lied to from the jump. To put your hopes into something bigger than self. To believe that this is a path to your dreams or stability. To give up so much to get so little and to realise it meant nothing because I did it for free and continued to do it.

Yup I get it, I was too desperate for direction and lost my way. I was hungry for the next thing, never enjoyed the current thing and let someone else steal my thing! I've given up so much and accepted failure as a part or fact of my life. I hate accepting that because it sets a horrible precedent for my family.  I honor and respect my brother for the highest achievement he's attained in his field.  Everything I hoped for he has attained and never gave up! So I know it's possible...I always believed, That if God got you to it, he'll get you through it.

My mindset was, if I get to be a genius at 75, he'll give me the life and opportunity to explore, expose and impact with that! It won't be death as an immediate option but impact for greater untill he called me home. So I've been rushing to find the level I'm supposed to be at in every stage of my life so I could get as much time at the place I'm supposed to be at.

My friends I leave you with this...Go with your gut, and kick fear in the nuts....Find your bliss! (See link below)

 Find Your Bliss - Will Smith 


 Leadership by TD Jakes