As I began typing this a reggae cover of Bruno Mars "Just the way you are," came on my playlist, and it seemed like an appropriate title.
I debated for hours if I wanted to write and share these thoughts? I was literally awoken this morning by a haunting and life shaking thought. I was tossing between dream and reality and reality looking back at a dream, only to realise this would take me if I didn't just get up. That last mental statement was my dream self telling my real self to get up to write down this sentiment, thought, action, cry or however it falls on the receiver. The real me said why write it down, just share it, another me said no just live it. All of that woke me up to just wrestle with the thought that I should have written it down.
Knowing it was, well believing it was profound, I didn't feel it was my place to have to share it. I at least wanted to remember it so I could live it. Nothing came back, but I sat back and had some clear flashbacks to hours ago. All I could think of was being a prisoner of my past. The same past that has allowed me everything but a future, growth and happiness. I looked back and still felt as if I had not completed or moved passed a horrible past that stunted lives, relationships, personal and professional growth and kept me behind a mask of incomplete. Why? Dam why? This is the stuff failure mountains are made of.
We look at the mountain and no matter from what side we approach it, we just can't climb to the top to overcome it. The mountain is soft so when you step on a challenge, you get sucked into the "you never overcame this pit!" Every step up, feels like a step in and deeper back into the mountain of failure. It's a challenge and daily I wonder who will validate me and absolve me of a past I'm too embarrassed to leave behind? Many say ask forgiveness, seek faith, move on and move up, haters gonna hate, love conquers all and many other key words from wealthy people who have conquered their mountains and demons. What's the phrase man, is all this backstory and whining necessary? Yes!
The phrase that awoke me this morning was "You can't appreciate a person's now if you continue to hold them against their then!" Asking a person to change, telling them they'll never change and not seeing their change is a tough place for them to be in. It's like asking a 6' person to stand tall in a 4' high box! No matter how much they try, they'll never stand up to 6'. I look at my mountains of failure and dam I have a lot of climbing or burning to do! Easing your conscience, forgiving yourself is tough. It's really a matter of focusing on your daily victories and burning and burying the ashes of your past being.
We have all been created for a destined purpose, we lose that aim when we make decisions and choices that aren't in line with our destiny. If you believe that, then focus on that. If you're struggling with road blocks, with getting over the hurt, with flashbacks of why you can't move fwd, I send you my faith for prayers strength and wisdom. We're all dealing or have dealt with demons and many times if can rear it's ugly head and try to remind you why you don't deserve success or happiness. Fight through, fight on. The world is big and your purpose has been waiting for you stop delaying progress.
The universe has blessed you daily with life and opportunities to move in the right direction, make better decisions and face your failures! Open your heart to receive what awaits you, unlock the mental cell and allow the positive progressive process to be at the forefront.
