Get a little closer... Don't be shy, Get a little closer, it's ok to cry!!! (3 of 3)

THE DARKNESS NEEDS LIGHT! 

We all know there's a season to everything and as the Bible says, joy comes in the morning....I've wished for too long that my mornings would never come to be... 

That statement is so dark, depressing, sad, cold, lonely and painful, I If I have to sum it up in some words. Which one of these are you really hiding/living behind? Wishing that morning wouldn't come? Every week I am faced with the same questions, including "Have you wished that you would go to sleep and never wake up?" My answer is always a resounding NO as if I won that question, but in reality, I was losing; Losing at life!

Some have heard this question, some may currently be answering this question, some are fighting this question and yet you still can't seem to find the answer, yet you carry along behind a mask with the hopes that someday things will turn around. I don't speak to judge, but from a place of understanding, sympathy, and care and from that place of darkness.

Many people speak of their depression, of the people that they know that have been lost to it, about the struggle and daily battle of living with it. It's not easy and it's not embarrassing! It's also not the only diagnosis to run to if things aren't or haven't been well in your life. What's my point?

SHARPEN YOUR FOCUS! 

In today's life, it's easy to say we're not competing to not compete with the competitors, but we forget that the non compete space is also getting a bit crowded. So the do your own thing space as redefined by certain types of people also has begun to get crowded. So what will work for me? What do I want to do? It's ok to not know, but it's not ok to not want to know.  In my meaning, I'm suggesting to keep moving and don't get stuck. The more you move/do, the more stuff gets out of your way, the clearer the path becomes and more things come to you, because along the way, you opened, shook off and focused!

It's easy to become overwhelmed to look at the big picture so much that you forget the details that make the picture come together. This isn't a new concept, I'm not sharing breaking news or revelatory information, I am merely saying, let's give it a try! I've been pushing for my next thing for years and I've missed and lost so much. I've been hoping to have enough funds, status, clout or whatever currency is necessary to buy myself forgiveness and then be able to get over things and enjoy a small fraction of my life just in time to die.

I must admit, I never focused on the right things.

I never focused on the details that make the big picture, I never read the chapters to the book,  I never invested enough or reinvested in the nouns that mattered to me, I just lived, or so I thought. 


LIVING DID NOT EQUAL HAPPY!

You know what it equals, especially if you don't care... it equals loss. That's the most simple way to put it. Loss of loved ones, moments, self and the nouns that matter most. When I started to write this, I thought I was going to get to the point of enjoying the seeds of the pepper sooner but realised that there was a lot more before we got there. What're the seeds of the pepper?

During my conversation last week, someone said... you have to zoom in and focus in on everything you're doing! To myself I thought I do that always, through lists, being as organised as I can be, by keeping to a schedule, etc, but in reality, I was still filling buckets with holes. She said zoom in and focus even on the seeds of the pepper you are cutting. I said in my head, who cares about the seeds of the pepper? In my other mind, I said, well the pepper does and the person that is about to enjoy it should.

The point, whether it's the seed in the pepper, the grain in the coffee table, the spark in your significant other, the light in your kids' eyes, be present and be in that moment. Not wondering about the gain, how long will this take, why is this important,  Not what's my next up or how are we going to level up? When you invest in being, you fill a void in your BEING!


IT'S NOT EASY THOUGH!

Try it, but trust me it is hella hard. Getting closer, being tuned in zoned in, zoomed in, focused in and all other ways to silence the noise... It's a challenge and I'm still learning. What I am learning is that getting over the past becomes easier when you focus on the present. The present loves you being present...and your past, if horrid, usually wants to hate you. Focusing on the nouns now and becoming a better you, will bring back those that matter most.

You can't pray and not have faith simultaneously, something has to give and I say give in to faith that all things work for the good to them that believe!

There's a version of you where this is just a moment in time and you will reflect on this period and grow from it.... make it count!